Arcee's Bad Day
by Prander
Summary: This was meant for fun. If people think this is dumb, I'm gonna take it down lol. I just hope it makes ya laugh. Contains harsh language. Thanks for the feedback and reviews and please check out my profile or forum for a personal thank you. :)


Arcee stormed down the hallway leading to central command. Electric guitars, amplifiers, video games, lobbing, and a gaggle of voices and shouting assailed her ears. This place was a veritable warren of humans and Autobots doing their level best to raise as much noise as possible! She couldn't stand it!

Arcee burst through the door, surprising everyone.

"Shut the fuck uuuuuup!" She drew the word out, screaming her guts out, her eyes squeezed tight with her fists shaking at her sides.

Everyone gaped back at her as she stalked into the room, murder in her eyes.

"See here now..." Ratchet blustered.

"I said shut it, rust spot! Try putting a band-aid over your mouth for a change, you old hacksaw!"

"Arcee what's your problem?" Jack asked as he got up from the couch.

"My problem?" She rounded on him. "My problem?!"

She stomped up to the hand railing where the TV and furniture sat. She thrust her face into Jacks.

"Where do I start? _You're_ my problem, pimples! I swear to God if I hear anymore whining about this little bitch Sierra I'm going to knock your heads together until you both share a brain!"

She eyed Miko standing there with her guitar, a slight whine of feedback coming from her amplifier.

Arcee slammed her foot down on it, smashing it flat with a burst of sparks.

"Hey!" Miko cried, raising her fists.

"What? WHAT?" Arcee leered down at her. "You little banshee! Could you be anymore annoying? You want a piece of me? I would say show me what ya got, but all you can transform into is a HEADACHE!"

Bulkhead reared up, dropping his lobbing ball.

"You can't talk to her like that!"

She turned on him next.

"Who's gonna stop me?! Go play with your balls, lugnuts, before I rip yours off!"

Bumblebee backed away with beeps of consternation and Arcee's eyes arrowed over to him.

"What's the matter with you, flower child? Speak up! Oh wait, never mind! How about you go boil an egg and let me know when it's done? BEEP!" she screamed at him, jabbing his chest and making him stumble backward.

"Arcee?" Raf spoke up quietly, walking over to the hand railing and giving her his best puppy dog eyes.

"What was that?!" Arcee cocked a hand behind her ear. "Did I just hear a church mouse squeak?" She turned around and looked down. She eyed Rafael.

"You know what your problem is, kid?" she thrust her face down into his. "Everything! Anyone says BOO loud enough, you wet your damn pants!"

Jack grabbed Raf and pulled him back protectively. She glared at him.

"You got more to add, Jack? Why dontcha stop rubbin' up against me boy, and go buy a damn playboy already!" she flicked him under his chin with one finger and his teeth clacked together so hard he plopped back on the couch in a daze.

Bumblebee came up, frowning and balling his fists now after seeing that. She rounded on him again.

"You want something else, speak and spell?! Where's that egg?! Try sitting on it since you already cluck and chirp like a chicken!"

Miko let out a shriek and Arcee jumped in alarm, her head spinning around. "What the hell?"

Then she caught site of the tiny bat that was terrifying their resident pre-teen. It flitted through the air in a circle.

"Oh, for fuck sake!" Arcee snarled, popping her blaster and blowing the little winged mammal to smithereens, splattering it all over Bulkhead. He looked stunned.

"You got more to say, ten tons?" She snarled.

"Thank you!" Bulkhead sputtered. Arcee turned back to Miko.

"Do you have to broadcast everything like an air raid siren? Go on Miko, make some _more_ noise, it's to _quiet_ in here! Or do me favor and squeak like a bat. Just _once_ I swear to God!"

"Whoa!" Smokescreen laughed, holding up his hands. He was next.

"You got a problem, rookie? Don't you have somewhere to fuck up again? You want a lesson how to stay alive? Stay out of my way!"

Optimus Prime strode up behind her.

"Arcee..." he began. Her eyes went wide and she threw up her arms.

"Oh yeah, here we go! All aboard the guilt train! Time to tell me about how every little lump of _shit _in the universe has a right to life." She spun on Optimus, pinching up her face and hooking her fingers in the air.

"Freedom is the right of every sentient being!" she mocked him.

"Every sentient being has the right to KISS MY ASS! Yadda yadda yadda! How long can you spew that polly perfect CRAP?! Arcee killed a mouse, Arcee killed a bat! If anyone so much as farts in here, you give a lecture!" She snarled at him.

Prime blinked.

"I was going to say nice shot." He murmured.

"Yeah that's fuckin' right!" Arcee jabbed him in the chest. "Go right some more fortune cookies then! That's all I can stand and I can't stand no more!" She turned to them all.

"The world has pissed in Arcee's wheaties one to many times! If you want a blaster enema, just come a knockin' on my door! Until then, keep it quiet!" She turned to storm out of the room but tripped over Miko's extension cords.

Miko screamed again as Arcee's eyes blazed and then snatching up the electric guitar she seized Miko by the ankles and sawed her back and forth across it like a violin.

"Yeah, ya like that baby?! Rock on dude!" Arcee snarled. The sound was appalling. "You get in my way one more time kid, I'm going to open the space bridge and fire your ass through it!" She flipped Miko onto the couch, bowling over all three kids.

As she stormed off, the larger door leading to the outside opened next to her and June Darby and Agent Fowler came pulling up in an unmarked car.

"What now? Oh great! The nanny wagon!" Arcee hollered.

She slammed her foot down on the hood, popping the front tires and crushing the engine.

Fowler and June were flung forward but then they rocketed out of the car.

"Hey, what the hell is your problem, soldier!?" Fowler jabbed a finger up at her. The other Autobots backed up where they all stood.

"Cork it, lard ball! The only thing you can threaten is the world's Twinkie supply! " and she jabbed him the gut.

Despite himself agent Fowler burped and Arcee rolled her eyes.

"Just like I figured. Nothin' but air! Imagine what kind of sound you would make if I stomped on _you_!"

June scuttled around the back of the car, her hands pressed over her ears.

"Where you goin', sister? Not PG enough for ya?!" Arcee reached out and stopped her. "You here to make moon-eyes at Optimus again?" and spinning June around she reach down into her scrubs and pulled her underwear back like a rubber band.

"Hey Optimus, your fan club is here!" She sang out as she let them go with a snap, propelling June toward Optimus with a yelp and clutching her ass.

"Nice leopard underpants, honey!" Arcee snarled and standing up, she ripped open the door back to her quarters and slammed it shut behind her.

Wheeljack chuckled from where he leaned against the wall, unnoticed.

"Must be that time of the century."

The door slammed back open and Arcee thrust her head out.

"What are you laughing at, cracker jack? Why dontcha go cut up some cheese with those pansy ass swords? Who the fuck invited _you _anyway?! You saw yourself in, see yourself out, numb nuts!" She slammed the door again.

No one said anything.

They didn't dare.

**ooo**

A tiny little spy drone flitted down the hallway next to Arcee and far off in the Decepticon warship Megatron chuckled, turning to Soundwave.

"Remarkable. Are we sure this woman isn't a Decepticon?"

Soundwave pointed at the screen. Somehow Arcee had leaped up and snatched the drone out of the air. Her voice snarled over the transmission.

"What's this, huh? Huh!?" Her face loomed in the video, pulling it's wings off.

"Is that you, you purple piranha lookin' mother fucker?! Next time I see you I'm gonna shove this spy drone up your ass! Then you can see how full of _shit you are_!" And she crushed it.

Megatron blinked, staring at the static.

Everyone has a bad day.


End file.
